7 June 2013

Week Three of Merchantman: ScifiFanSat!



Welcome to another edition oSciFi Fantasy Saturday - our little web-ring of fab SciFi & Fantasy writers and posters. Check out snippets from other SFFS authors here: scififansat.blogspot.ca.

Posting from my WiP
THE GIRLS FROM ALCYONE: MERCHANTMAN
(a novelette from the world of Alcyone)

The Girls From Alcyone is the continuing story of two very special girls who find themselves at the heart of a conflict spanning more than forty worlds.

LAST WEEK: Sigrid was just pulling up to Konoe Station in time to see the very swanky freighter arrive. Now, Sigrid visits a Gentleman's club where she comes face to face with the Merchantman himself, Corbin Price.


read part one here
read part two here

Part Three of Merchantman: 


Sigrid scanned the room. The man they sought was here, this trader, leader of the Merchantmen. He occupied a table on a raised platform to the rear overlooking the club. He was fat, rolls of pudgy flesh billowed out between the folds of his trousers and his shirt. The vile cologne he wore threatened to overwhelm her sensors from across the room. Worse odors lingered.
Two girls sat to either side of him, barely aware of their surroundings; drugged, Sigrid knew. The morphgesic cocktail in their bloodstream registered heavily in her PCM. It was a miracle the girls were conscious. Tired eyes looked up at her as she approached, suspicious, leery, their thin hands clinging to the fat man at their side and the coin he promised.



If you're curious to read more, I've posted the entire rough draft of Merchantman here (notice the link up top!). I'm also happy to email you a Kindle copy if you'd like.

Cheers, Cary!

26 comments:

  1. Great snippet...love the description. I think this guy and my randomly-appearing Tabor Yurick would get along quite well.

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    1. YES! I want to see that combo!! :D

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  2. Great! I had a real picture of the scene in front of her for all the senses. She'd best not drink anything while she's there!!

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    1. Not drink! But what about the complimentary tequila shots?

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  3. Cary, wow! What a scene. Totally set the mood with all those cool details.

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    1. I noticed you TEASED us this week - signing up then withdrawing!

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    2. Yes, she did! Shame on her. Spanks...you can do it Cary. ;P

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  4. Brilliantly ick and vividly done. The kind of place that can infiltrate into your pores. I can almost smell it too... (Had a read of your full story..good stuff, as always!)

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    1. Villains are always a hoot to write. The more 'ick' the merrier!

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  5. Awesome imagery. The guy gives me the creeps. I hate him already--all in less than 10 sentences. Bravo!

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    1. Oh...He's just misunderstood, is all.

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  6. I really liked the description of the merchant boss and his overwhelming presence. I could almost smell the nasty cologne wafting off him from here!

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    1. I feel this way about all cologne. lol. *ugh*

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  7. What a delightfully unctuous fellow! Reminds me of my ex-husband. I not-so-fondly called him "The Opportunistic Man-Child Whale." He of course called me "Moon-Faced Troll." You can, of course, see why we're exes.

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    1. I had to look up unctuous (yes, I am that much of a literary dolt), but apparently it means just like it sounds like it means!

      Oh, and I'm glad you said ex-husband. I wouldn't want to hear about you living with anyone who would DARE call you a moon-faced troll. *stupid man-child whale...*

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  8. This was an icky snippet overall: the visual, the scents, the atmosphere. You do a good job of making the Merchantman repulsive. He's giving off strong Jabba the Hutt vibes.

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    1. Those crazy Hutts! Perhaps I'll have to get Sigrid into a bikini and have her give his throat a good throttling before the end.

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  9. Worse scents than his cologne? I can only imagine. I'm with Ms. Blackman; this guy comes across as a Human version of a Hutt. Does he have a deep laugh?

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    1. Well, I had to make sure no one confuses him with my other bad guy in the book who looks just like Grand Moff Tarkin.

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  10. I knew a few boss men like that in my time. Excellent!

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    1. I worked with someone who looked like him, except I was the boss. Hmm...I'm not sure what that says about me, now...

      ;)

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  11. morphgesic cocktail? Is that anything like a Shirley Temple? Great descriptions and really set the vibe, "entertainment" laced with desperation and sadness. Looking forward to the exchange with her sit down with him.

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  12. Like everyone else said, this was very descriptive. Those poor girls...

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  13. As I read this, I heard a voice in my head saying 'You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.' Ugh!

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    1. You hear that voice? I hear that voice! I've had that since 1977! (I was worried I was just imagining it).

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