This Week: Posting from "The Girls From Alcyone II: Freelancer."
FUGITIVE: Snippet V
Still continuing last week's snippet, and still aboard the speeding TGV with Dr. Farrington, who now finds himself in the grips of his large, no-longer-slumbering, cabin companion.
"Let me go—release me!"
The fat man considered the request, then nodded. "As you wish." He relaxed his grip, causing the Doctor to tumble back against his seat; Farrington's eyes shot quickly from the fat man to the cabin door, wondering if he could make his escape, knowing, already, that any attempt to flee would prove futile.
"You are free to go," the fat man said—in an infuriatingly dismissive manner, Farrington thought. "But that will serve neither of us; and we didn't come all this way to hold you hostage."
We? That disturbed Farrington; perhaps more than the fact that he had been found, so soon and so easily.
Farrington swallowed; his throat was dry, and he pulled unconsciously at his collar of his coat. There could be only one possible outcome in this scenario.
And I for one can't wait to see that one outcome unfold. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOk now I'm curious. Can't wait for more
ReplyDeleteUh-ohhh... This can't be good. I wanna read the rest! Urg.
ReplyDelete"Farrington swallowed; his throat was dry, and he pulled unconsciously at his collar of his coat." -- I can really feel his discomfort. This might be the text book example of showing rather than telling :) Nice job!
ReplyDeleteDemonstrating my classic insecurities and paranoia, I read your comment ("text book example...") and thought, 'Oh no! I did it wrong.'
Deletelol :D
I suppose this comes from constantly being lectured by the all the armchair critics, reviewers and detractors out there.
Nice job of showing emotions--but what do they want him to do?
ReplyDeleteNice job! Of course, that's your modus operandii. I need to catch up on your snippets.
ReplyDeleteStupid double-I! *operandi
DeleteVery good snippet. I need to catch up and see how we got here. I'm interested in what that one outcome can be!
ReplyDeleteSo Farrington's earlier confidence and certainties were entirely misplaced. Somehow I am not surprised. You've done a very nice job painting his feelings and his personality without saying anything expressly - very nice writing.
ReplyDeleteI can totally "see" this scene, Cary.
ReplyDeleteNicely cinematic!
:) Heidi
I want to add a dramatic sound bite to the end of that snippet, but itdoesn't really need it. Nice one :)
ReplyDeleteOooh, and just what is that outcome? Intrigued. :D
ReplyDeleteYikes! The only possible out come doesn't sound good!
ReplyDeleteLove anticipation.