Welcome to another edition of SciFi Fantasy Saturday - our little web-ring of fab SciFi & Fantasy writers and posters. Check out snippets from other SFFS authors here: scififansat.blogspot.comThis Week: Posting from my WiP
THE GIRLS FROM ALCYONE II: FREELANCER
Continuing from last week's snippet: Sigrid continues her infiltration of a factory complex on Bellatrix (oh, and in case you forgot, it's raining--really-really hard--and there's, like, these big puddles everywhere).
Sigrid's sensors alerted her to the disturbance ahead. Shrinking back into the shadows, she pressed her back up against the retaining wall of the narrow loading dock, watching as a pair of hulking ground-lories trundled up to the gates. The trucks stood a good four-meters in height, their wide, studded wheels clawing deep into the soft gravel of the road, churning up more mud and rubble.
Banks of headlamps washed over Sigrid in the darkness, bathing her in eerie white light as the transports lurched forward. Sigrid gave them as wide a berth as possible. She wasn't worried about being seen—the drivers would not see her, shrouded as she was—but being invisible would not save her should one of the trucks' massive wheels roll over her.
Nor would her cloak spare her from a thorough soaking, it seemed. Sigrid had to stifle a scream as the first of the transports found what was easily the largest of the puddles in the road. There was little to do but stand there as wave after filthy wave of freezing, oily water crashed over her, soaking her from head to foot.
"Nice," Sigrid said.
This is an excellent choice of wording. The phrases are very descriptive and I could see, feel, experience all of it with crystal clarity in my mind's eye. This is the kind of writing I enjoy reading.
ReplyDeletePhew! That is GOOD to know. Thank you sir! You are far too kind.
DeletePS - and what's everyone doing up so early (or am I up late again?)
Yeh, I've been there in my bus-catching days. Splashed and soaked. Very descriptive. Brilliant!!
ReplyDeleteBut ... I thought all you Bajans only suffered brilliant warm, sunny days, with soothing trade winds (and tall drinks) to cool you.
DeleteHa! That's just for the posters and brochures! They forget to mention mosquitoes, death-ray heat, rain...and my favorite - hurricanes!
DeleteI hate it when that happens! Forget the cloaking technology; what she needs is some sort of anti-soaking tech!
ReplyDelete*quickly writes not...* ...anti...SOAKing...technol... Check. Got it. Cheers!
Delete;)
Made me smile and chuckle...worried about getting crushed, and she ends up soaked instead. :-)
ReplyDeleteWell, even genetically engineered bionic super-beings still have a rough day at the office every once in a while (it's true!).
DeleteMade me shiver! Poor kid. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteBrrr! Poor girl. My snippet is in its usual spot. jmfilipowicz.com
ReplyDeleteAck! I hate getting splashed like that.
ReplyDeleteEven if she has something that keep the rain from comming in the top, she's still subject to splashes from below.
ReplyDeleteVery nice details! Definitely no lack of understanding and seeing the scene! Good job!
ReplyDeleteI love your use of description! I can see, hear, and smell the rain and much and the trucks.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder if anyone watching would see her outline when she was splashed... I mean, she might be invisible, but she's still there...
Oh, about Sorne, I haven't decided what to do with the story yet it's a side story to a novel I wrote. I may self-pub the story; I may hold on to it while I see if I can sell the novel to a publisher (or land an agent). But I'm humbled that you want to buy it! I'll certainly let you know when it's available.
Your imagery is wonderful. It brings the scene to life. I can feel how miserable Sigrid is.
ReplyDelete